Y Me?

Yeah!!! We got a membership to the local YMCA, and I was planning a trip to Target to get the most modest swimsuit available, over which I’m sure I will put a white t-shirt and shorts, when I started noticing that Noah was getting an eye infection, to go along with his cold/fever/flu. We were hoping for a break in the sicknesses and were looking forward to actually working out when, SPLAT. I get the flu. Now, I am just weak and tired, but hopefully I’m done with throwing up.

Bummer, I would like to actually start working out, before May 23rd, you know?



Today is technically Day 5 of my “new goals” but it’s not working out the way I had planned.

First off, we don’t have a gym membership, so swimming and biking are out of the question (since we don’t own bikes, yet). I suppose we could have been running, but we have sick kids, it’s snowing right now, and the list goes on. My diet has consisted of more junk food than normal, to include pizza and ice cream, BUT I have been faithfully taking my diet pills. So hurrah for that.

What I’ve been thinking about lately is that I am not going to accidentally get into shape. It won’t be a mistake that I am able to complete a triathlon on May 23, 2010. I am not just going to wake up one day and have an epiphany and suddenly be perfect. That’s what I’ve been waiting for! Sure, I will tell you that I know that you have to try to lose weight by eating healthy foods and exercising, but read my archives…this isn’t new information for me! I’ve been thinking that suddenly, I will have the right motivation to get it done. That it’s about wanting it or feeling good. It’s not. Motivation is dead. There is so such thing.

There is, however, self-control and discipline. It is self-control and not motivation that forces you to eat (drink) a healthy life-supporting smoothie in the morning instead of slurping your way through three cups of coffee until the shakes set in and you realize  that you’ve had nothing to eat all day. It is discipline and not motivation that gets you up and out the door and in to the gym for your morning workout. Motivation is just what makes you feel like you want something, self-control and discipline are your means of actualizing whatever it is that motivates you.

There is an important distinction for my mind that I am trying to get through its thick surface. I can do this, but it’s not going to be easy. It will be hard and painful and there are going to be a lot of days that I just plain don’t want to go to the gym. It is at those times that I need the determination to succeed, not really the motivation. In my last post, I got a comment from Brad, and one particular thing that he said stands out to me:

Believe in yourself. Your family and friends can believe in you but you are the one that matters most. If you can’t get your brain into the zone that says “I can do it”, you will quit with a bag full of regrets.

He is right. Believing in yourself is the key, but it’s not enough. You have to follow through. So, I ask you, why is it so hard to do exactly what we know that we want to do?

I have high hopes for this week. Despite the sick(ish) kiddos, and the snow, we are planning on heading to the local Y for our first attempt at doing something that we don’t (necessarily) feel motivated to do (at that moment). If we just can’t, I am forcing myself to do one of my workout videos first thing. Despite all that, I think I’ve actually lost a little weight! Official weigh-in days are going to be Mondays and Thursdays and I will be taking a picture of myself every week (probably on Monday). It’s like pregnancy pictures in reverse!

ps. I added a new category just for these weeks, called “Tri for 12 weeks”

New Goal

I FINALLY GOT MY VITAMINS TODAY!!! Which really is the side note here, I got the vitamins which include Garden of Life’s new product called Diet 360 which has been shown (in a tiny almost inconsequential test study) to increase weight loss by 50%.

But, no matter. What I decided to do is commit to a 90 day or 12 week diet and exercise plan. There are a million different reasons why I want to do this, health and happiness reaching the top. I am going to be 29 in under a month and it occurs to me (a lot) that I am not living at the peak that my body is designed to live at. My children aren’t receiving a good example and my husband isn’t getting me at my best. I think this is going to be hard, and I’m confident I’ll fall off the wagon once or twice (or more) during these 90 days, but I will get back on. And in the meantime, I’ll be posting updates, so check the “FISH” tab at the top. (Edited to add: I posted, and will continue to post, my updates in the FISH section, scroll to the bottom to a link called “updates”. You will also find my current weigh-ins, photos, for women viewers only, and my diet strategy.)

My Choice Diet: Perfect Weight America

It always has been my choice, but I don’t really know why, exactly, but I know that I love it when I do it well! For the first month, I will be doing what I always start out trying to do, avoid white foods and avoid starches. (Notice that I did not say carbs, as fruits and vegetables are allowed and recommended for snacking.) As we get into spring, I would like to eat about 50% raw foods, which means a simple, yummy, fruit and yogurt smoothie in the morning, followed by a large veggie salad (I will still likely put eggs or another protein on here, even though it’s not raw) and then a sensible, veggie-friendly dinner. My kids still need starches, but we don’t need that many! I’m trying to not make too big a deal out of the food, focusing on buying real foods and eating the way that I know how. At this point for me, I think it is pretty obvious when I am eating to live and thrive or just shoving food in my mouth because I’m bored or tired or … you get the picture.

My Choice Workout: Your First Triathlon

Yup, you read that right! I have always wanted to do a triathlon and I purchased a book with the name Your First Triathlon by Joe Friel that gives you plans for how to go from couch to triathlon in 12 weeks and I decided that I wanted to do it. Modesty issues are a concern for me at this point and I don’t know exactly how I will handle them, but the first step is going to be purchasing a one piece black swimsuit somewhere and I will find a long pair of black shorts to go over that. At least that keeps my skin covered, but not my form. For now, I’m okay with that, because I will be in the pool most of the time, not lounging on a chair and jumping around, but actively swimming. As for the actual race day, I’m not sure how I will keep up my modesty standards yet, but I know that I’ll figure something out.

So, what am I going to do? I am running a Sprint Distance Triathlon, which is a 1/2 mile swim, followed by a 13 mile bike, followed by a 3 mile run. The race that I want to participate in is the Without Limits Summer Splash Triathlon in Longmont, Colorado on May 23, 2010. That gives me a few extra weeks after I complete the 12 week program to continue to work on my skills. The only downside is that I need to register soon, and the registration costs $65. I think it’s worth it to have a goal to train for and therefore, a deadline.

My Choice Goals:

*To lose weight- my goal is to lose 30 pounds in these 90 days. If the Diet 360 works as well as it says it does, I “could” in theory, lose up to 48 pounds, but we’ll see.

*To exercise 5 times a week.

*To choose the food I eat and when I eat it, not eating on impulse or unplanned splurge.

*To finish the triathlon with a smile on my face.

Writing Again

There are quite a few blogs that I read that impress me. Keeping the Home, Making Home, Pleasant View Schoolhouse, Home Living, and The Creative Place are all amazing blogs, for starters, and each for their own reasons. I like how matter-of-fact Candy is at Keeping the Home, she is blunt and to the point. Jess at Making Home is in-depth in her articles and intelligent. It is obvious that something is touching her life when she writes it, but she also takes the time to research, instead of just journal her own struggles. Anna lives at Pleasant View Schoolhouse and she is gentle and crafty. I love reading her blog because it is always positive and always beautiful, the pictures are always stunning. Lydia over at Home Living is one of a kind. She is frugal and feminine and though her ideas are not always in my taste, I enjoy seeing her creativity within her home. And Ashley at The Creative Place is a wonderful, creative homemaker who has a beautiful blog and wonderfully creative tutorials and recipes. She is my newest “find” and I love it so far!

What do all of these blogs have in common? For starters, they are all written by women, notably by women who are making their occupation within their home (or not having a paying occupation). They are all Christian women and they all have a different, yet distinct voice. All of them are creative in their home, but that is not what I enjoy most about these blogs.

What makes them so great in my eyes is their regularity. Anna posts something everyday except Sundays with few exceptions. It isn’t always much, but is always nice to read. Ashley posts a different “type” of post on different days of the weeks, Tuesday Tutorials and Wednesday recipes are my favorites. I think this is the point of blogging, to share something about your life in a regular way.

This is also the strategy for becoming a writer. I have always wanted to write a novel. I write a few chapters and then I quit and start a new one. As soon as it gets rough, my writing gets rough. I am armed with a million books on how to write a novel and how to keep writing a novel and how to get back to writing a novel and (of course) the number one thing that they all have in common is that you need to be dedicated to the task. Carve out a few minutes of writing time and keep it as an appointment for you and your writing. If the appointment is fifteen minutes and you sit down at the computer and nothing happens when your fingers touch the keys, that’s okay, but you still need to sit at the computer until that fifteen minutes is up. If you have longer to devote to your writing, then by all means, take it when inspiration hits you, but you have to be able to write even when feeling uninspired.

At present, I am missing not having a desk to house my laptop. I am writing from my bedroom, while sitting, lying, and slouching on my bed. Ouch. The good news is, I’ve begun writing again. I’ve been enjoying my story because it is an easy one to write. I am not writing about a young single girl as most books do, instead I am writing about an independent married woman who is on the brink of divorce, only she doesn’t know that yet. She is going to have to go through alot of the same issues that I have dealt with over the last few years in learning how to be a wife and a mother, and where to go to get those role models that are so necessary. I’m excited!

Dear Friend,

I did something crazy today, Friend. It started innocently enough. I remembered that last night I felt good because of the busyness of the day and for accomplishing a few tasks. Today, I told myself, I would slowly ease into cleaning what is supposed to be the master bedroom and is instead the “collector of all things, to include (but not limited to): clothes, dirty and clean, piles of books, movies, trash, all household paperwork, sewing projects, fabric for sewing projects, cute pattern that I couldn’t pass up, pens, pencils, candy, candy wrappers, balls of yarn, balls of embroidery thread, and the unavoidable dust bunnies.” Oh yeah, and there is a king size bed in this room too!

I began today, Friend. I started slowly by picking up the gigantic gray bucket that I knew was serving as a temporary storage facility for all sorts of randomness, but I also knew that the bottom of the bucket contained fabric! Yes, fabric, but since it doesn’t belong to me, it’s easy to process- toss into the garage…while still in the container! It was as I moved the mammoth gray bucket onto my bed to spill its contents that I noticed how much extra floor space I had. There were two other similarly filled boxes right next to my laundry basket, which, after I moved them on top of my bed, I realized that I could in fact, reach the windows to open them. The beautiful sun was shining down during this late morning time and I chanced it by opening the windows.

Once the boxes were on the bed, Friend, I realized that I couldn’t simply stop. There were a few books that had been placed directly below the shelf that they belong in, so I sorted that out. It was then that the overwhelming need to reorganize came over me. I realized that it wasn’t enough that I just straighten my room, there was a flaw in the layout of the furniture that allowed for too many flat surfaces, but all of them in the wrong spots to as to severely diminish the function of the room as a restful haven and rather increase its function as the storage facility for every hopeless thing in the house. I could hear the sighs of the neglected bedside table and the dresser was groaning louder than the rest under the load it was required to bear.

Friend, I set it all to right. Today, with little outside intervention, I managed to completely rearrange AND clean my entire bedroom. I am so proud of myself, it took me nearly 12 hours, but it was worth it to hear my mom’s positive comments and my husband’s surprised look. I am practically delirious at this moment, but I am thrilled with the (still slightly incomplete) results.

And, I know that I get to rest tomorrow, did I tell you, Friend? My husband and I are going out on a date and we are staying out all night! An advance thank you to my mother and sister who will be caring for my treasures while we are away. I hope to post pictures later!

Good Day

I had a good day today. I didn’t get everything on my list done, I didn’t stick to my schedule and I didn’t eat nutritiously for most of the day. But, it was still a good day.

My wonderful husband let me sleep in, which I did. I got up and drank 2 cups of pretend coffee (that’s instant coffee mixed in with hot chocolate mix) and had a granola bar for breakfast. I remembered to take my vitamins. When Jordyn came downstairs to ask if she could watch another movie, I had her come downstairs and do her phonics lesson first. She flew through it. I managed to get at least 3 loads of laundry done, and almost all of them put away. I chatted on the phone to my sister about interesting things like bones not working and something about Cleveland. I was trying to do laundry and search for apartments while talking to her. Sip, I made a third cup of fake coffee. Deposited check for Eric without a complaint and I did it promptly. Made a healthy dinner for me and the kids after my workout was cut short by those same kiddos.

I read this cute book today.

It is a collection of rhymes like “The Wheels on the Bus” and “1, 2, Buckle My Shoe” that preschoolers everywhere know the motions to, but if you can’t think of something, the author has provided an activity for nearly every rhyme. The pictures are great because they look like fabric that has been pieced together. Super cute, highly recommend!!!

The day was good because I was active, thoughtful and careful. I have some people in my life who look to find fault, and I know that I was faulty often enough today, but no one needs to know when they are being inconstant or erring (unless there is a habit that needs to be addressed and is done willingly and privately). I am proud of myself today, for many of the little things that I did. Hoping that tomorrow, I can do even more things the way they should be done.