I am now about 95% sure that I have miscarried and I have cried and entertained the thought of grieving the loss, but find that I have hope instead of grief.
Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us,and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work. -2 Thessalonians 2:16 & 17
I really wanted to be pregnant, moreover, I thought that it was right and good for me to get/be pregnant. We did, against the odds and I think that God was sovereign in allowing conception. It gave us hope for the future. We were all excited and were already picking out names. I felt ready and I couldn’t wait, even the 40 weeks would be long enough. But something wasn’t right. Only God knows what was going on in my body and only God has the power to change it. So I take comfort and look to my future and my hope.
…for I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow. – Jeremiah 31:13
So what does my future hold? Only God knows, but I am planning on waiting a few months to get pregnant again. I am looking forward to trying to lose some more weight (which I should have done first anyway) and taking it from there. I will still be taking vitamins and trying to live like I am pregnant (less coffee, no medications, focus on good nutrition) until it just becomes my lifestyle. I am also looking forward to adding some new workouts to my routine.
And I am always remembering two of my favorite verses:
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. -Proverbs 3:5 & 6
Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. -Philippians 4:4