Well, I am yes, a nervous wreck right now. I think I may be having a miscarriage and truth be told, I just can’t get my mind off it. I am shaking with the very thought and at the same time, I know that whatever happens is what God wills, but that doesn’t make the wondering and waiting any easier. I have been doing research, lots of research. About 20-30% of pregnant women experience some bleeding and about 50% of those women miscarry. So my chances are good especially with the cramping PLUS bleeding, that is the more ominous part. One or the other isn’t so bad, but both doesn’t look so good.
However, as my midwife just told me, there are plenty of stories of women who have had these issues and have still carried a healthy baby to term. Another possible solution is that it was twins, and one of them did not survive. At this point an ultrasound is the only definitive way to find out, but unless I find a very good machine, I am not likely to even see the uterus at this point. I am 6 weeks along and will need to wait to find out for another few weeks.
I promised to call my midwife tomorrow with an update but she seems to think that usually, if you are going to miscarry, that you will do it within about 24 hours. It has already been that long since I started bleeding. The cramping is not terrible, in fact, I doubt I’d even notice it if I wasn’t so honed in to the goings-on of my abdomen right now.
Pray with me, if you think about it. I know that I can trust God and I am taking comfort in His will and His sovereignty. If we are to have a child, we’ll have a child. If Sarah and Elizabeth can have children in their old age, surely the Lord can work wonders in me, if He wills it. But for now, I am going to rest.