It has been almost two months since I have begun this journey into Biblical Womanhood. It is so amazing to me how many “accidents” and “coincidences” that have helped shape my journey. It all started with homeschooling. My daughter has only just turned four, but I knew when she was born that I wanted the best education for her. I thought that the best I could offer was to send her to private school and I even found the one that I would send her to. It wasn’t until I moved to this area (Olympia, WA) that I found people that recommended homeschooling as a way of life. As soon as the thought popped into my head, I was hooked. My very first homeschooling book was So You’re Thinking About Homeschooling, by Lisa Whelchel. I think she does a great job of explaining and showing the different ways to homeschool as well as link you to places that can give you better information. I think by far, it is the best book to give someone who is THINKING about homeschooling. I plan on purchasing it for each of my sisters. As I read it, I honed in on classical education. I bought The Well-Trained Mind and scoured it. I attacked it with a highlighter and made charts and graphs galore. By now, my daughter was a year old, but I was ready to start preschool. [Unfortunately, all my motivation came to naught when I found that the television caters to young children. We have been trying to break Mommy’s addiction ASAP.] I started to spread my wings as I looked back through Whelchel’s book and saw Trivium Pursuit listed. I didn’t like the site and brushed it off as “antiquated” and ignored the idea for several years. It was always lingering in my mind so after rereading Whelchel’s book again several months ago, I decided that I must homeschool and I approached Trivium Pursuit again. I bought their book, Teaching the Trivium, and began to read it. I was evaluating everything against my “homeschooling bible” which was WTM. However, as I committed to reading the book, even though it just didn’t seem like it was written for this generation, an interesting thing happened.
Boy has this modesty subject really turned my life around!!! I was happy and content wearing snug-fitting blue jeans and t-shirts. My shirts aren’t incredibly low-cut, but they are low enough to need caution when bending down. However, I have always taken pride in how modest I dress comparatively. Now my notions seem to be tumbling down around me! My mother and I (along with my two children) visited the zoo the other day and I was shocked at what I was seeing. Women with no bras, insane amounts of skin revealed, outfits that are specifically designed to show off the female figure. I am sure that my mom was tired of me commenting on the immodesty of the people at the zoo that day, but she wisely held her tongue until we were in the car later that day. My mom has been the most vocal about my changes but I expected that. Actually, I am very impressed with how well my mom is staying silent about my choices but I get the feeling that she is just waiting for it to all blow over, as many of my ideas and commitments have in the past. Lately, our conversation has centered around the Olympics, which brings a welcome “easy topic” to the subject list….or does it?
In exactly one week, I will have been a mother for 4 years (not including the original pregnancy) and as I look back one of the things that stand out is my nonstop feeling of being “just the babysitter.” In my behavior, in all my actions, and especially my inaction when in the presence of anyone else, I have taught myself to be just that- temporary care for children who are more dear to me than anyone in the world. I haven’t appropriately dealt with this because it seems like every time it comes up, I have been left alone for a period of time (right now, Eric has been away for a month with the National Guard and my mom was away in New Mexico visiting my sister and her newest baby.) The problem is that these people inevitably come back. Therefore, I am never really forced to accept that I have this problem.
I thoroughly love the idea of wearing skirts and dresses all the time, but the last few days have been difficult. It started on Thursday, when I wore pants to Wal-Mart. The feeling wasn’t pleasant, and I happily wore a skirt on Friday. I had planned to finish sewing a skirt on Friday and then wear it. I didn’t sew on Friday, but since I was already wearing a skirt, I just pushed my plans to Saturday. My mom usually takes my kids for me on the first Saturday of every month because she loves the Home Depot Free Project as well as spending time with her grandkids. Well, although the day started off slower than normal, I did manage to spend plenty of time sewing my skirt…but I never finished it!!! I needed white thread for a particular seam and though I had a bobbin full, I couldn’t find the spool anywhere!!! When it was time to pick up the kids, I was forced to pull on my jeans again to pick them up. I went “all out” in my old fashion- jeans, t-shirt, athletic shoes. I was surprised to remember how comfortable my running shoes are, maybe I will work out more. All in all, I was dressed extremely casually and though I had my moments where I wished I had been in a skirt, I still felt okay.